locket from a wreck
released may 2024 / lyrics by eric howden
you were born from a slow death. a tendril on a fallen pine.
now you breathe with my own breath,
and join the deer that thunder by.
where the lava and the snow met, there was a shiver running up my spine.
the fever broke the finish line.
there’s a lot i’m going to lose yet, but you’re still
my still life land.
locket from a wreck.
i don’t want to come back until nothing else is left.
even if there is no still life here, in this chrysalis around my neck,
like a song, i believe in small
eternities.
you were born when a bomb ticked, and broke a trance
that spiralled from a town that drowned.
a new romance.
and i moved you, brick by brick, and note by painted note,
to a hidden place on higher ground,
and then the locket closed
on a valley where the sun leapt from tunnel to tunnel
to me.
the rocks began to slide,
but then they froze,
and so did i.
there’s a lot i have to learn yet, but there’s still time
in still life land.
locket from a wreck.
i don’t want to come back
until nothing else is left.
even if there is no still life here, in this chrysalis around my neck,
you are still my
still life land.
locket in a lake.
keeper of a captive.
a promise of escape.
even if there is no still life here,
the memory is here to stay.
like a song, i believe in small
eternities.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
from: raised by swans is the name of a man, volume 2: run with the silent wildfires
released march 2023 / all lyrics by eric howden
falling box of jewels
fading shapeshifters
shadow foxes fooling
the twilit grey
skirting the eclipse in the frozen lake
burning like a blind spot
i can’t unsee
fall back to elsewhere
you against my chest on the fire escape
or waiting with the seedlings
i’d promised rain
swimming in the scent
of imagined trees
where we are
we are free
at least until the day
we are brave enough
to wake up from the dream
colours keep changing
even from a summer that’s long since passed
come dive with me for pearls
in the molten glass
surface in the milk
of the moon-fed pool
stripped of all armor
kiss me where your fingerprints
scarred my skin
give the broken record its billionth spin
even if the silence
cannot be fooled
here we are
set me free
even as the rainbow is breaking up
and poisoning the stream
even if the memory
of our love
is fraying at the seams
at least until the day
i am brave enough
to wake up from the dream
star shells
all we’ve lost
sleeping
with our fingers crossed
wondering if they’ll play our song
waiting
to be ready to belong
and all the while
there are star shells above us
mirrored in our eyes
carried softly among us
on the breeze
and moving
in the mountain streams
ribbons from the raven’s arc
or traces of the engines
of the dark
i dream of you
that the war is behind us
will you dream it too
until the morning reminds us
it’s untrue
sunrise is a star shell
and the moon
all we hold
and we’ve held
so stand and sing
as the earth’s trembling
murders of nightjars
send their song echoing out
to the farthest point of light
i want to see the star shells
through their eyes
all along
thinking
we were not so strong
breaking from the tidal wave
learning that to love
is to be brave
and all the while
there are star shells below us
mirrored in the ice
and they’re daring
us to notice
will you sing along
i’m right here by your side
will you sing along
it’s come true
sunrise is a star shell
and the moon
all we hold and
we’ve held
it’s come true
sunrise is a star shell
and the moon
all we hold
and we’ve held
so stand and sing
for everything trembling in
your defiant heart
every note lingering
lifting the night up
as the scene’s flickering
murders of nightjars
send their song echoing
out where the cars are
rushing by
i want to see the star shells
through their eyes
come back to haunt me
i’ll be no longer
a miner of melting snow
weighed down
by a magnifying glass
let the tunnels all collapse
around me
and in the darkness i’ll
risk it all
let every earthquake and
every fault
come back to haunt me
come back to haunt me
you
cut with your decks of candles
across the lake
(through driving rain)
and your holds hide
a thousand hurricanes
who’ve
lost their way
come blow the house down
every wall
as if the whole thing was
made of straw
come back to haunt me
come back to haunt me
come on
sail
pace through the fog
pulling in
setting off
i’ll
race to the dockside
with your name
held aloft
i want to burn
lights in the catacombs
a shiver through the stone
the point of no return
i feel you in the fractures
yeah i just want to burn
i just want to burn with you
dark archipelagos
of voices we have thrown
and deep inside the earth
we’re waiting as a whisper
yeah i just want to burn
i just want to burn with you
let’s open a vein
to the core
yeah i just want to burn
i just want to burn with you
i just want to burn
i just want to burn with you
(there’s a
dim glow
off the coast)
hope weaves golden blood
volcanic crater
ancient in your youth
crystal visions
waiting to come true
someday
we all learn
what we already knew
the time we’re counting on
is soft
but it won’t bend
or offer islands
i’ve heard of frozen frames
at the event horizon
where hope weaves golden blood
golden blood
but maybe just to swim’s enough
to gild
the iron waves
far northern morning
pockets lined with jewels
windswept
first steps
kite strings off their spools
sometimes
we don’t need reasons to break
the rules
the time we’re counting on
is soft
but it won’t bend
i still hear sirens
breakers at the edge
of the event horizon
where hope
weaves golden blood
golden blood
i didn’t want to lose you love
maybe just to swim’s enough
to gild
one iron wave
recaptured
recaptured
be a runaway
a runaway
i dare you to take my hand
moonlight
heard a song that fell like moonlight
and knives
on the rooftops of the deeps
colours
thought too rare to rediscover
wake up
rainbow memories of white reefs
pounding through the surf
buzzing like bees
through the underworld
spies and jewel thieves
we all know the score
the stealing of a moment more
music scents the air from
i don’t know where
i don’t know where
do you feel the world turning faster
are we still in time
is the dream the spell or the caster
can the perfect crime be
recaptured
come and run away
run away
i dare you to take my hand
promise
wrote a song that made its promise
lossless
across a century of dark sleep
raptures
swirls of nevers and forever afters
every circle incomplete
pounding through the surf
right beside me
through the underworld
spies and jewel thieves
we all know the score
the sweetness in a moment more
music scents the air from
i don’t know where
i don’t know where
do you feel the world turning faster
are we still in time
is the dream the spell or the caster
can a beam of light be
recaptured
the music in us is free
so kick off your shoes love
and pick up the beat
rode the polar bear out
in shadow
gathered our strength
under the ripe stars
on the battlefield of our echoes
let it be love
leading the charge
we’ve never met
the current keeps us
from each other
but we cast our hearts
again
they cut their teeth
in savage water
from quivering shells on the shore
we cry out for more
cry out for more
like the world might forget
something it’s not imagined yet
we’ve never met
so how is that i’ve your pulse
pounding in my lips
and you’ve mine
lightning intertwined
whale songs bound
to the abyss
where the whirlpool dwells
i want to be someone
you can’t forget
i want to be someone
you’ve never met
where the cymbals swell
i hold you like a breath
we’ll never be
so how is that you’re
an immortal melody
in my mind
climbing like a vine
bringing sorrow to its knees
where the whirlpool dwells
i want to be someone
you can’t forget
i want to be someone
you’ve never met
never met
where the cymbals swell
i hold you like a breath
you sang to me
i was falling down
invisibly
when you sang to me
i was all mixed up
and missing pieces
then you sang to me
blood
soaking through my shirt
a well of silence
a bundle of nerves
i tunnelled to the lighthouse
for the mercy of words
i’d never have heard
here
i’d never have heard
as a dial tone
the border guards
barely glanced at me
i was hanging up
a missing person
then you answered me
oh you answered me
swooned
in your summoned rain
of skeleton keys
that sprang us
from our cages
and drowned out the advances
of a coming ice age
we have to be brave
dear
we have to be brave
museum birds
they can fly away
museum birds
like campfire sparks
we lose them
in the dark
we sleepwalk to a box
we warm it with our touch
and suddenly we’re seeing
the colours that were us
don’t
keep your heart a secret
from the very heights
it was born to beat in
love’s wild
it needs some sky
to dream in
the signs might say
keep out
but let’s not be afraid
to break in or escape
(museum birds)
to light the flares trapped
underneath the stairs
to plunge into your jungles
resuscitate the sounds
to rise as something blinding
and burn this building down
don’t
keep your heart a secret
from the very heights
it was born to beat in
love’s wild
it needs some sky
to dream in
the signs might say
keep out
but i will not obey
a flooded engine
learned how to hide
a flooded engine
in plain sight
flooded with light
in every corner
a folded knife
treasure
taking
cover
where the hungry
helicopters
hover
when they descend
when they descend
have no illusions
the dream is yours to
defend
the water eats the wall
the water eats the wall
the fate of the frozen veil is
to fall
to fall
learned how to need
when i was walking in tatters
you looked at me
like i was someone
who mattered
treasure
taking
cover
where the hungry
helicopters
hover
when they breach the dam
when they breach the dam
i will protect you
with everything that
i am
i will protect you with
everything that
i am
an ecstasy of
an ecstasy of the agony
of love
the agony of love
from out of the frozen veil comes
the flood
the flood
glass plate negative
flicker around the edges
of the frames we fill
lights in the corners of our eyes
the night could
never kill
run with the silent wildfires
live where your memories live
somewhere a raging river’s trapped
in a glass plate negative
without each other
we disappear
time only holds us for
so long
so long
flutter around the edges
of the songs we sing
signs that remind us
we’re still waiting around
for something
some are the guards
some are sawing the bars
from windows
charging like bolts of lightning
straight into the tornadoes
and more and more
i feel i’m still standing
the tightrope taut
beneath my feet
what’s left without
some small belief
and more and more
the void is expanding
we have to find a balance here
without each other
we disappear
time only holds us
for so long
so long
enchanted creatures
know i’ve noticed
in spite of the tornado’s spin
yeah i’ve noticed
my word
like a lotus flower
a bloom of iridescent skin
broke the surface
what a world
i still believe
there are coins left
to retrieve
run through the waves
stirring up the mirror
come
show me what’s
underneath
know i felt it
the tremble in your summer legs
as we melted and were
revealed
we were covered bridges
enchanted creatures without names
but to each other
only real
i still believe
there are coins left
to retrieve
run through the waves
stirring up the mirror
come
show me what’s
underneath
come show me
what’s underneath
shadow in your hand
wild as
the pain that
you’d run from
for so long
combs of
grey ocean
in your hair
slow dancing
twin stars
captured
then disarmed
glimpses
of glory
from nowhere
oblivion
i knew you’d come
to pour us both out
bottles in the sand
bottles in the sand
the fallout in the clouds
in plumes of steam
a camera dreams
signs i should have seen
shadow in your hand
shadow in your hand
whatever could it mean
how could
i have thrown you
a rope
tried from
the eye of
a whirlpool
snow fleeing
from summer
lost sheep
uncovered
lone wolves
exposed to
each other
oblivion
what’s done is done
you poured us both out
bottles in the sand
bottles in the sand
the fallout in the clouds
in plumes of steam
a camera dreams of
signs i should have seen
shadow in your hand
shadow in your hand
whatever could it mean
shadow in your hand
shadow in your hand
you played it
on to me
come find
me again
in that lost
moment when
you offered your hand
then took all
i had
left
if i’d had
a fighting chance
i’d have passed
on the
last dance
the silence
is deafening
shadow
in your
hand
the first word
dare to approach
the frozen wave
haunting
the golden floodplain
cupping hands to roaring
blue wounds
the memories of the world
scoured the earth
the dirt
to find the first word
like a stone could
be coaxed to bleed
freight trains of rain
unchained
the cloud forest maimed
broken shovels up
both my sleeves
called off the search
it hurt
don’t know which is worse
holding tighter
or letting go
offered my throat
my hope
from watchtower ghost
to a miner
of melting snow
finally found the first clue
what i’d been missing
fell into the deep dark blue
and i just listened
i just listened
scores of angels (return of the sparrows)
what spell is this that casts itself
through the walls
a secret stranded animal call
that opens up the mouth
of a cave
to taste its freedom once again
it’s all coming back
it’s all coming back
scores of angels
clad in black
in black
drums in singing fields
arrows in my shield
scores of angels
love made real
made real
it seems
this one possession’s all that we are
a starless sky with its skyless star
eternal as the moment of truth
when first
i gave myself to you
it’s all coming back
scores of angels
clad in black
in black
drums in singing fields
arrows in my shield
scores of angels
love made real
made real
all a wild heart needs
all a wild heart needs
you’re all a wild heart needs
why can’t absence
i’ve retraced the wakes
of bottled notes
slept with glaciers on
beds of coals
felt you run right through me
and then retract
let soft fictions cure me
of the facts
why can’t absence
keep its promise
even from a distance
its wish is my command
i hear your maydays
and i move right away
just to be reminded
you’ve come as close as you can
but i
didn’t have a minute to lose
to be loved
we don’t have a minute to lose
ghosts of hummingbirds
down the mines
fetching fevers i’ve
left behind
then they wrap around me
like christmas lights
proving every colour
that you denied
why can’t absence
break its silence
open up a channel
consider our demands
i still hear maydays
and feel my heart race
just to rediscover
an empty point of land
when i
didn’t have a minute to lose
to be loved
we don’t have a minute to lose
no i
didn’t have a minute
to lose
we don’t have a minute to lose
the sharpest needle (raw mix)
how long
how long
have you been gone
i’ve seen
the numbers
they still seem wrong
the sharpest needle
is in my heart
nobody sees
it’s just you and me
my love
i promised
i’d keep you safe
a thread i carried
across that lake
when you went under
and in the dark
the needle gleamed
and joined you to me
it joined you to me
leaning towers
racing oceans
on your own
defiantly
one shortwave from long gone
a lion
the wilds were waiting for
could you still see them
love’s urgent remains
gold coasts
flaking in the red rain
i’m trying
i’m beaming light into storms
i still want more
all the fleeting things
colours fading
from old paintings
your eyes striking
like lightning
the leaning towers
break across the bow
warnings sounding
as the world howls
i’m tired
i’m starting to realize
how the towers see it
i’m ready to believe in
how small we really are
how the towers see it
i’m ready to believe in
how small
we really are
let the gale lift your tired sails up
give your greatest fears your
bravest love
let the gale lift your tired sails up
clear the leaning towers of
tainted blood
your blood
i’m way beyond your blood
now
and time
whatever you’ve left in store
i still want more
a lucky streak of moonlight
watched the road die
right before my eyes
it drowned inside a mirror then
dared me to draw nearer
gamble my desire on
a lucky streak of moonlight
leave my loss behind me
hope it never finds me
crossed the guarded water as
an open flame
rubies gleamed and faltered
hearts the undercurrent
overcame
oh my love
i knelt and called
your name
late night hide and seek
playing at half speed
visions stalk the surface
thought they couldn’t hurt us
then the hit and run
brighter than the sun
searched the field in tears
i swore that you’d been here
on my side
crossed the darkened river
lost between its banks
emeralds gleamed and shivered
as i tore myself in two
bells rang
oh my love from every side
bells rang
___________________________________________________________________________________________
from: raised by swans is the name of a man, volume 1 (album)
released february 2021 / all lyrics by eric howden
half the battle
if
half the battle rages
in the Great Unless
is the front ahead or just
behind me
half my heart inside
a sighing labyrinth
while the other needs a beat
to find me
maybe
i’m losing touch
maybe
i want it/wanted too much
if
half the battle lies
in knowing where
we’re wrong
why at every turn
the sudden ending
when you vanished from my arms
love
fortress without doors
first contact
small black windowpane i fogged with
warm breath
inside a fortress
without doors
a hunter
ceiling lifting as her snow white
wings spread
her eyes bright emeralds
just like yours
were
dawn finds a dazed animal
blinking in the light
this can’t be the
same sky
i fell for
last night
through cold wind
leaning into forces i don’t
understand
i’m ripping chains out of the floors
and climbing high
like i could emerge above
the avalanche
we were alive one year before
this
building impossible walls
learning to survive
this can’t be the same sky
i fell for
last night
fly the secret frontier
no cover
no fear
no Others
i’m here
our moon seems so near
salt in the air
life in my hands
slow motion animals
carry me home
must be out there
the wind cuts through without you
i must be stronger
i must be stronger now
beneath this strange new weight
i share with songbirds
who’ve had their trees cut down
oh darling
do you need my love
throat’s burning
and then freezing up
you must be out there
you must be out there
i asked the shadow horses
across the sunset gorges
but they hadn’t seen you
yet
the sharpest needle tracked me
ten thousand birches
ten thousand cries of thirst
the mother fox was killed
i saw the hunter
i should have killed him first
oh darling
don’t you think i know
how far i’ve let my dreaming go
you must be out there
you must be out there
i locked the lakeside portal
the years we were immortal
my wishes lit like torches
inside a paper fortress
darling don’t you think i know
i’m kicking in the afterglow
darling don’t you think i know
helpless insect
lean your dizzy head
against the damaged glass
savour every
single
silver
heartbeat
quickened pulses tapping
honeyed code
pollen upon
the cobblestone
fall under the thrall
of night
will you wait for me
where no one
can get hurt
empty nest above
the blinded
churches
singing other lovers
lullabies
find me and finally
sing me mine
break the bough and ride
the storm
there’s no time anymore
helpless insect
you’re not alone
come on and try
within the amber
we’ll dream ourselves
to life
spells
once upon a long distance phone call
we met up inside the wires
as infinite light
every time i try to remember
how i saw the world then
i kind of go blind
i cast my own spells
i know alone well
a backdrop of glowing eyes
awake/a wake for the dawn of time
you were so far ahead
and i’m not there yet
but i can still summon fire
but i can still summon fire
_
……
my own private rapture
every fathom we passed
first to the last
i want them back
spiral stairways of smoke
explosive bolts
loosening holds
fantasies
holding me captive
here
can you imagine?
earthquakes under my skin
anchors i’ve lost
ripples i’ve been
green light luring me down
where i can breathe but
sorrows are drowned
you and me
dreams
that i capture
and keep
my own private rapture
of the deep
there’s still a way home
final island
wild hopes
so alive they burn
let’s watch from the final island
for their
return
we’re the eiders
against
a small sky
will we ever learn
wild hopes
sun
shine on our tell-tale hearts
maybe
one wish is a lonesome sparkle
but it’s a start
we’re the eiders
against
a blue sky
may we never be apart
wild hopes
wild hopes
the lonely hunter
sometimes i’m
scarlet snow
wild eyes
splintered bone
sometimes i’m
on my knees
drunk on stars
at the peaks
the lonely hunter
dark lantern in a hollow tree
you know what’s in my blood
come running over
cup runneth over
long drought upon the land
and yet
the valley’s going to flood
a deluge from the core against
a camouflage of mud
not sure
how this started
if i’m falling through
if i’m falling for you
no roads
where i’m wandering now
only scattered crumbs and
ladders i’ve rescued
from
the heavens
heaven’s only dreaming
dreaming that an ending
isn’t all we’ve started
the lonely hunter
day breaks from all directions
fires burning
at first blush
come roll like thunder
come hold me under
seduced by solitude but
have i given away too much
a snow cave holding echoes of
the memories
of touch
not sure
how this started
if i’m falling through
if i’m falling for you
no roads where i’m wandering now
only scattered crumbs and
ladders i’ve rescued
from
the heavens
heaven’s only dreaming
dreaming that an ending
isn’t all we’ve started
hold me in your arms
goddess of night
hold me in your arms now
firestorms /DCI
every burning house
every spark i’ve tried
stomping out
every new world i’ve
drowned in its sleep
certain it wasn’t meant for me
there in your tireless arms
a conjured moon
whose magic was used up too soon
where birds
protect their young
and every new sunrise
is sung
the lucky don’t only die once
they rise from the minefields
as doves
they fly with their wings
pouring blood
they fall from the knife’s edge
and crawl for the light switch
oh true love
my darling
i can’t let go
i’m burning
i can’t let go
read my sentence there
i will live always
everywhere
run with the reels of
bombers offshore
embers from dreams of
firestorms
radar still sweeps the sea
for what is left
and for what has not happened yet
throw fortune to the flames
kiss me and whisper
my name
the lucky don’t only die once
they fall through the fog
call its bluff
they land when it seems
real enough
they dare to believe it
dare to receive it
oh true love
my darling
i can’t let go
N harbour
unknown alphabets
are thrashing in nets inside
your eyes
hauled on to the decks and
fighting for breath
love
take your time
here and now
we’re the chorus
don’t look down
they’re right before us
the words
wonder-flooded engines
waiting on landings
still because
spring will thaw the harbour
freeing the endings
we thought
we’d tied up
here and now
build a chorus
don’t look down
it’s right before us
then and now
we’re the chorus
don’t look down
it’s here before us
the world
the softest needle
now
it dropped like a bomb
from the clouds
into this old ruin
on a hideaway moon
softness
something you always did best
as hard as the hard rain
beat at my chest
so needle
i beg your softness
tonight
know you stop two hearts
leave a kingdom breathless
free a weary star
from its earthly nest
all hail the love
that we had
all hail love
lullaby for abandoned animals
fall asleep
small one
there’s no fear left
only sleep
though i lie awake
despite this
tall grass closing in
like the sea
can that be my dream
an island where
the beds
were the backs
of my knees
no answers needed yet
can that be my dream
an origami fjord
sheltering shipwrecked heartbeats
for just a moment
more
pale blue black holes
rows of small squares
on folded sea charts
remote trapdoors
marking sinking hearts
shades of palest blue where
we climbed the masts
and kicked black holes
through the one-way glass
when we struck sky
it poured down light
yeah it poured down light
as if to say
you’re still part of something
you’d let go
when you sank so low
like an ember thrown
into the depths
that tried to burn
alone
beacons glow softly
then disappear
between the flashes
they whisper “i’m still here”
to a boy by a fjord it
felt like love
but here the urgent sea
eats the soft light up
when we struck sky
it poured down night
yeah it poured down night
as if to say
you’re still a stranger to yourself
moving shell to shell
that the rainbow’s spell
is only meant for bluebirds
and the angels
well
we still flew like we could never fall
so high the sea looked very small
trains we both missed
long good-byes like
magic tricks
left us transfixed
from separate crumbling platforms
waiting for
trains we’d both missed
i watched the meteor’s tail flash
on its way to nowhere
i’ll lay myself across these tracks
just take me in your arms
tell me i belong there
sound the bell
call the lions back
back to their kills
we’re nothing but a trick of the light
pools of blood where
time won’t stand still
and even this will pass
though you swear you’ll save it all
we’re shadows muted stars once cast
shoot me like an arrow
beyond the city’s high walls
i watched the fox’s tail flash
then vanish in the frozen air
i laid my hand across its tracks
imagined them still warm
that love was waiting somewhere
___________________________________________________________________________________________
from: Öxnadalur (album)
released november 2014 / all lyrics by eric howden
/
all those setting suns
directions we were facing
i was born(e) a hit and run
on beams
some fools are chasing
but this could be enough
the dark above
the scene
and your voice is breaking up
can you
explain that again
why i should come back
explain it again to me
chasms
you were my favourite view
and then something changed
as things always do
we’re chasms at close range
surfaces not set in stone
but half-crystallized
a snapshot of snowswept ice
a fleeting disguise
but night leaves an open window
and in this dream
no hearts can break
so turn the lights out
and come stargaze
i’ll be
by your side
when you crack and split at the ridge
we’ll meet at the wild end
of the washed out bridge
you’ll be my favourite view
mine alone
let’s never change
for anyone
Öxnadalur
take me over your palace walls
my magic word
drifts high as my chest
my heartbeat melts a line
of helpless steps
deep
winters where the clocks crept
undersea
and left forgiveness spinning
from a golden reel
across the field
i drop my shield
and run the last mile home
(i belong with you there
i belong
ashes in the air)
but always the departures
plunging elevators with
my new lives inside
all those unkind good-byes
star of love
let your snow-streaked hair down
for me again
you are my return through the storm
my tightrope to the light
above the door
free
here i’m in a city
under siege
and there a lamb she’s gathered
in her golden fleece
you rescued me
you rescued me
but what do i do now
what new day
promises getting closer
all of those days are over
just come and climb with me
in the sun
i remember stars
how did i drift so far
from the thundering tide
a wreckage of the wishes i once whispered
to the night
i remember stars
where there isn’t any sky
i remember victories when i didn’t
have to try
i remember losing too
line for line
i climbed the only ladder
where the city streets snake
i looked down at the scores of crumpled notes
in the storm drains
i remember tenderness
if i look back too far
i remember memory before locked rooms
and alarms
i promised you the world
i promised you the world back then
destroyer of worlds
now i want my promise back
i’ll keep it to myself this time
outlaw in a coastal cave
a spell walked into red sand
beyond the reach of the waves
i promised you the world
i promised you the world back then
destroyer of worlds
you’re part of me
don’t forget
and i remember enough
of the things that you’ve pushed away
when it’s late and i feel your chill
i whisper for them to
stay
please
stay
stay
please stay
no one can break my heart
i remember stars
Katla
dreamed i was her only child
wrapped in burning blankets
on the ice
licked clean of spoiled honey
from a distant rotten hive
a boy like me can only dare to try
to be seen
but the vision was wrong
i sold it for a song
its colours were out of key
horses charging the bay
aflame
all the small lights swept away
i’m ready to see you now
i’m ready to see
in the path of her last false start
no one’s holding their breath
all we have are these pounding hearts
and whatever comes next
dreamed i was a lonely lake
wrapped in quiet miles of unmapped space
from cradle to caldera
passing notes from cage to cage
a bird like me can only dare to try
to fly free
in the eye of the song
i’m already gone
but maybe i won’t draw your fire
singing your name
because i’ve loved you from far away
but it’s only far away
i’m ready to see
in the getaway car
in the getaway car
i am guilty
but only of watching certainty fall apart
behind me
and picking up steam
where the fjords flank me
blocking signals
and pardoning crimes
that drove their knives to my side
those old wounds
start singing
then i’m blinded
and even darkness is sparkling
in your open palm
is where my stolen heart belongs
come run away
let those tired reflections go
bomb the dams
and let the rivers flow
in the getaway car
i am traceless
traceless as streams deep
under abandoned farms
and maybe
just as cut off and faceless but
i run clear now
swimming with sparks
that kindled a kindred heart
old lava is glowing
then i’m blinded
and in the darkness i start again
in your open palm
i’m finally sure what side i’m on
so here it is
the slow approach
i’ve surrendered
i’ve come alone
with my hands above my head
and i am free
i’ll take my chances
and let them take me
Hraunsvatn
ghost
come match your shape to mine
a stone chained
as if it might fly
no prisms corroding
my sight
the blizzard of code
regret writes
arctic terns bow
in awe
and i am the man that i saw
once long ago in her eyes
cast up against a blank sky
i remember your soft voice
it had me
tumbling down on black tape
to the valley floor
oh the heights and the depths that we’ve known
i’ll follow
your fathoms
clouds sounding below
all my thirsts gone dry
victory day
final flight
from Þverbrekkuhnjúkur’s bright peak
i know what’s expected of me
(all you gave
and all i owe
swore my love was as alone as you
cut the lines
dropped my pack
sent a note and you
sang it back to me
all my lost blood
flowing back to me)
i remember your soft voice
beside me
you sent your fastest foot soldiers to find me
i will bring Jónas safely back home
i’ll follow the old track
blood under the snow
i’ll follow
the earthly weight
stripped from our bones
a lakeside
the walls of my heart
overthrown
i know it’s real
some distant part of me remembers
where the missile silos are concealed
the place all endings are imagined
i know it’s real
i know it’s real
but there must be time left
to confuse the coordinates
where the whirling birds nest
but how can i climb when i’m tethered from below
a silhouette cut from a glowing window
the other life i’m letting go
call
i won’t turn around
i faced us backwards even then
so this can’t be happening now
it’s just an echo’s end
waterfall
can i be renamed
the old underground’s been locked and sold
songbirds bursting up from the snow
here
time returns
the days and nights you stole
can’t i have just one kiss
was it always so dangerous
was it all that first hit
and the fallout that preys on the sound
of the all clear
i sing a few songs to a tattered atmosphere
but more and more
i disappear
call out
i won’t turn around
all those telegrams were sent
from a phantom finding now
and if not now
when?
waterfall
can i be redeemed
blood vessels drinking up the cold
songbirds bursting up from the snow
here
time returns
the days and nights you stole
the valley’s beautiful tonight
i watch the stars take up
their shields
and no one else needs to believe it
i know it’s real
i know it’s real
a way to get by
all those villages drowning
linking arms
as floodwaters rise
show me a way to get by
i need a way to get by
time is hung in a darkroom
your aching smile
high on a wire
show me a real good-bye
i need a real good-bye
one that won’t change its mind
swinging for the fences
for separate sky
i once found love
but lost it all because
the landslide swallowed both of us
as starving love does
after all that we’ve been through
to think i thought
i knew
we reach out into night
and hope our aim is true
guardian of the silver mine
promised you i’d throw you a line
show me you’ve stayed alive
show me you’re still alive
that love got to you in time
the glacier advances
the battery dies
we’re collapsing worlds
we’re shells protecting pearls
caught between what could have been
and all that we were
after all that we’ve been through
i know that we
can do this
we reach out into night
and hope our aim is true
spilled more blood
never thought you’d lose your way back home to me
i bled a trail along the mountain pass
fled so fast no map could hold its potency
yeah i cut my X’s low and hard
and all i’ve done is spilled more blood
the drifts are deepening
on the switchbacks
below the peaks
miles up H________
i walked on mirrors
a horse was drowning
the glass broke underneath me
a hail of arrows circled
waiting on my word
oh mercy
you left it up to me
i’ll always come
to spill more blood
for the route you braved for me
where the cliffs repel the sea
it’s going to take more and more to stop
the infinite crush of insects
gaining on the moat
i fall back unprotected
attached and disconnected
i let you through
then i lit the fuel
it’s so much simpler than we thought
hope waits
where we’d almost given up
as patient as the land
the inkwells
overflowing
the rivers never knowing
always writing
always erasing
tunnels to villages
bring my lost senses up to speed
let the roar of the exits
wash over me
or i stop just to feel the weight
yeah i stop
just to fill a space
and there’s a ghost i keep passing by
he’s like a long distance call
stalled in the sky
i recognize his face
it was drawn
then it was erased
oh, tunnels to villages
the wounded wend their way
home
under the avalanches
oh landslide
block my way
pin my shadows in
starless places
when i leaned towards the sea
and the gale cradled me
the last ceiling pulled back and faded
(the name of the world
became my own)
oh, tunnels to villages
the guilty hiding their
gold
under the avalanches
oh, i’m ready for something
(footprints have formed again
between me and my
hit and run twin)
and on the outskirts i float
waiting for night to close in
depth charges
i wish i could take it back
the way i left you then
i flooded the tanks and ran
phantasms at force ten
i dropped like a knife
for years i just scraped by
curled up
bow down
half blind
don’t know where you are
but sometimes a depth charge
stirs my
ancient sonar
as fast as i dared to drive
the icy roads
ghost white
rose up from the river bed
your long dead star
reeled me in
the glittering lights
and faces i crept by
eyes wide
skipped and stuttered
i’d surfaced behind a melting projection
banks where
flags once fluttered
it’s like the more dead reckonings i take
the more i fail to see
that in this life of mine
you’re lost to me
except us dreamers
dreamers
where do we end up
staggering out into the sun after
some desperate final run
we’d never dreamed of
maybe i’d wake up
drag myself from the burning plane
no log books
just a wall of flame
where my dream was
but the waking life has nothing over this
in the sweetest light
there would always be a dream i’d miss
heard your voice through a crack in the ice
a frozen ribbon in your hair
i knew i carried a great weight
more than you could bear
each night i found the waterfall
through the rows of newborn trees
no lightning strike
of brutal truth
could have stopped the likes of me
though the rocks rumbled far below
i came as close as i was dared
it took a while to realize
i’d already fallen there
up to the meadows by the ruins
the aurora held us tight
forget the curses we both hide
will you stay
will you stay tonight
there is nowhere else but right here by your side
as your body melts
i freeze
but all dreams will fall
they’re running out of time
so just spend it all
with me
there is nowhere else
(diving down now)
there is nowhere else
(there is nowhere i’d rather
brave the flames to save)
but all dreams will fall
(but all dreams will wake and fade)
so just spend it all
(so just spend it all before we burn
this precious chance
away)
dreamers
where do we end up
staggering out into the sun after some
desperate final run
we’d never dreamed of
diving bird /portal
where low waters sing
is an animal king
whose anxious heart quiets itself
away from the cruelty of love
tracing contour lines
tracking black into white
running silent and
on all fours
i climb to the side of your soft shores
and cache away a diving bird
in a shallow grave
a coin to close the lid
the toll you took
i hid
a heart that’s spent can still be saved
i’m on my knees
airships pass over me
when did it become me against them
shovels scraping the roof of the den
i held your head
yeah i stayed with the dead
i imagined our final stand
will it make me a better man
have no fear
the portal’s core is cold and clear
and this end opens wide
amid the fireflies
where i first dried your frightened tears
it’s okay
a single arrow can bend
and break
but a diving bird
is nothing but a blur
wild music
in its wake
___________________________________________________________________________________________
sightings (single)
(released 2013 / lyrics by eric howden)
another clue in the codebook
i found
where a nervous undercurrent’s hushed
by forest sounds
young love
you lit them up from above
a bird of prey
your talons around the sun
angel on the Tiergarten’s edge
it’s been an empty sort of feeling keeping
now from then
we’re just echoes bullet set up
our impact lost
and whole worlds to defend
random motion
petty thief
lost boys walking
in their sleep
some places i’ll never leave
oh my old friend
the dotted line descends
lose the path to find it underfoot again
where do i begin
where do i begin
another clue in the codebook
i found
where a furious undercurrent dragged
a wall down
young love
the targets we fall short of
shuttered searchlights
attacks we can’t recall
trains circling a midnight square
swore i saw your shadow there
my heart leapt into the air
oh my old friend
this can’t be the end
of the story we’re pretending that
we’re in
where do i begin
where do i begin
___________________________________________________________________________________________
from: no ghostless place (album)
(released january 2010 / all lyrics by eric howden)
we were never young, sheet music
we were never young
from every room hearts spoke through walls too thin to hold
the weight of what they heard
so fires crept through spaces long left soft and blurred
notes pushed under the doors
frozen to the floor we believed everything
leaves blown beneath the eaves
whirring like a nest of wound-up starlings
we were young
we didn’t heed those things
if birds were singing we were loved
we were young
like the universe
like our mothers were
like these words
hail of arrows
sleep and forget until the names we knew are
bodies walled in a doorless room
and we won’t turn back
clouds of sparrows are startled into flight
as a hail of arrows is unleashed at the sky
and we won’t turn back
so here we go
this might curse our luck
these mirror-haunted hallways
we’re echo-testing for a hole we’ll never find
so let’s just close our eyes this time
i will love you always
i wouldn’t lie
i wouldn’t lie
so pour me out on the eastern coast where the water’s cold as a mermaid’s ghost
and the long days hide
and one of these nights we will bloom in the trees
push our old sick hearts from the roots to the leaves
and then open wide
so here we go
this might curse our luck
these mirror-haunted hallways
we’re echo-testing for a hole we’ll never find
so let’s just close our eyes this time
i will love you always
i wouldn’t lie
i wouldn’t lie
locked hearts keep lost time
’cause it’s hard to lay arms down
in the arms of the one who lays you bare
but if we don’t shield ourselves
then we won’t have to fear the arrows
secret garden/ s.c.
my love buried its young with
just one question
it broke the spell
i’ve bitten my tongue but
it’s set in motion
i pulled a rope and rang a bell
when you carved your neural runes into my spine
and then you lowered a light for me to decode them
i dug through miles of tangled earth to say i’d try
in your arms i’m silver air and sleeping pills
but you draw your tripwires with poison quills
the garden awakes
you’re drawing away
i’m drawing my first breath
but roots hold tight like traplines
they carry a lot of weight
don’t save your strength
for the end
of the dream
all
you’ll have left
is please don’t leave
please don’t leave
easier
we were never meant to be apart
every step we take is getting harder
for all your promises pinned like ribbons to your bed
tell me
why’s the ice so thin around you
you say it gets easier to fall right through
suddenly we felt the night go numb
stalling as the lightning cut the horizon
and all the miles went dark between the city and the stars
tell me would you leave our love behind
you say it gets easier to throw the fight
my heart is taking off
night fighter
look down upon the coastline
the airstrip strange and bare
just let the instruments slide
the radio dead air
back when you were young you knew the words
now they’re just a distant hum
the sun was bright behind her
the memory’s here somewhere
and you and i will fall too
from the beauty of it all
you’re coming in so low now
close your eyes
relinquish the controls
and you and i will fall too
from the beauty that we once knew
you’re coming in solo now
close your eyes
relinquish the control
loop and climb
lake of fire
dive deep
dive deep
trees and sky
her eyes
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
by an ion
when you crawl to my side
you’re like a wounded bird
with your wings weighed down
you’re somehow smaller than you were
but all of it was real to me
’til you showed me
we were make-believe
why are we not accelerating
pedals down
our pulses racing
particles kaleidoscopic
fireworks dreamed by an ion
now the charges are laid
the poles have swung away
and right at the split
you might just feel some pain
or maybe you will realize that
i’m small enough to slip your mind
how do these hearts unfold
when strangers meet
they seem more real to me
wide open spaces and consciences clean
and to what end must i protect
the boy i used to be
who thought a home where only silence falls
no clock inside its walls
could dodge a wrecking ball
locks blocking strangers both ways
what kind of safety’s that anyway
i could have risked you love
how do we stand our ground
how do we say we’re brave now
i am waiting on your command
a blindfold between my sight and your sleight of hand
how do these hands hold
how do these hearts unfold now
never knowing the ways they can
a blindfold between the night and Neverland
you will come back to me
the waiting’s over
no more oceans left
reserves have all been tapped and spent
so raise the floodlights
shipwrecks on the snow
they seem so small against the glow
we struck the night blind
now opened wide and robbed for pearls
there were signs
but we stormed the doors
where once slept a sinking continent now
there is nothing more
i would wait for you
but something tells me that won’t do
the waiting’s over
start it again
start it again
drown out all light
the love this day
would desecrate
lost in time
old fires
no shadow beneath my feet
no trace left on the ground
i used to think that our hearts could beat
the speed of sound
we’d soar past the crowd like angels
hardly visible
and back to the times we’d time to kill
darling
it’s criminal
only if i’d only kept if only to myself
starlight hide your warmth
although the wolves cry at our door
and days get older
the night is young
vanish like the moon without the sun
we stretched like a sunbeam across the sky
no end in sight
who would have thought a heart could break
the speed of light
entwined in the night like animals
hardly divisible
my shadow has not rejoined me still
darling
it’s criminal
morning without warning
cut the moorings
push me out
starlight hide your warmth
although the wolves cry at our door
and days gets older
the night is young
vanish like the moon without the sun
old fires burn young again tonight
the past is the prey
love
you promised me
then you led us deeper into the trees
and looped the trail where it traced the thin air
when you track the old days
remember the game
the past’s not always the prey
and we numbed the earth’s skin
when we tried to strike a spark
never known where to begin
staring backwards from the start
and the needle skips and spins
stumbling from blind to blind
let them hunt us down again
i will keep us safe tonight
on and on
you told me i was wrong then
please tell me i’ll be wrong again
a heart behind glass
in a tower of stone
i smuggled the spark
that led the forest fire home
and we numbed the earth’s skin
when we tried to strike a spark
never known where to begin
in the landscape of a heart
and the needle skips and spins
stumbling from blind to blind
let the tables turn again
i will keep us safe tonight
safe
we’re safe tonight
above the earth
an arc of escaped light
the first time we’ve been lost
to second sight
the sky’s the blind
for a pair of newborn kites
you told me i was wrong
please tell me i’ll be wrong again
longer shadows, shorter days
left behind when summer’s over
in quiet lineups by the lake
cheating hearts descend like clouds of falling leaves
to lie and rot and wait for rain
summer heat will you drain your blood from me
into lawns and limpid pools where your kiss was young and cruel
cut by cut and play by play it will always be this way
summer love
if i could only hold your heart
and never beat again
someone’s breath against your shoulder
someone’s voice to say your name
just as long as someone’s there to break your fall
longer shadows shorter days
if i could only hold your heart
i’d never beat again
there’s hope yet
the mornings you stole away
i kept my eyes low
let you break my heart
you break my heart
her ceilings and sandbars
locations unknown
we’ve gone way too far
tiny creature
brave the vents below
hey
there’s hope yet
there is hope again
it sails through vicious storms my love
hey there’s hope yet
and if you believe that
then sail those wrecks to shore my love
hey
i’d almost forgotten this
we’re anchored alone
in a lake of stars
a lake of stars
north of light’s end
from this moment
there is nothing left of us
maybe there never was
much point in hanging our hopes
high like daggers
aimed to pierce the earth’s core
who were we falling for
before we broke we glittered in the sun
one day
you’ll slip past the sleeping guards
through the gardens of drowned alarms
swallow me in your swan dive
fly from this house of cards
north of light’s end
where the curtain falls
we’re nowhere at all
one day
you’ll slip past the sleeping guards
through the gardens of drowned alarms
signal me through the cell walls
sing to me from afar
a siren in an ice storm
at the end of the world
all lyrics © eric howden (SOCAN)
