tour begins soon.
european tour, november 2017.
three weeks from tomorrow i’ll be meeting up with my dear friends Midas Fall somewhere in Europe as they wend their way towards Slovakia. very grateful to them for inviting me along on this tour of theirs, and to the magnificent Christos at Love Light Productions for his help with booking. ongoing dates are posted here and elsewhere, and will be updated as details emerge.
routing logistics, time limitations and unresponsive/already booked venues made it a challenge not only to fill in certain gaps but to visit every country we wanted to visit, and we’ll miss those we can’t get to this time. but i’m very excited about the tour we have, which reaches some amazing places – it will be my first time playing in Greece, Hungary and Serbia, and i’m thrilled to be returning to Bulgaria, Romania, and Slovakia, all of which i fell in love with back in 2015. unfortunately i must return to Canada before Midas Fall’s shows in Croatia and Belgium.
working hard on album #4, and back to the studio in December. still finishing up the writing of a couple of brand new songs that came to me only recently and swept me off my feet. proof alone that delaying the release was the right decision.
for now i’ve been daydreaming almost exclusively about how good it will be to connect (or reconnect) with some of you this November. i can hardly wait to sing to you and see your lovely faces – sharing an evening filled with music will always be the most beautiful and cathartic part of all of this for me, and it’s been too long.
be seeing you.
realized very suddenly and painfully last week that there’s a good chance i’ll implode if i keep pushing forward this way. but far worse, possibly compromise the album i’ve been working towards for the past three years.
since april, when i bravely/foolishly announced a release date of october 17th, i’ve worked without a single day of rest. but the unavoidable fact is that as hard as i’ve tried, i don’t have the time or resources at this point to finish the album as i’ve envisioned it by october, nor to arrange for any sort of proper unveiling; if i continued on like this i’d just be pushing it out into the world on the 17th and collapsing. which may sound wonderfully dramatic from afar, but is awfully depressing as the one who would be doing the collapsing.
so: october 17th can’t happen. i hate to think that i’m disappointing anyone, but i’ve not rushed a single aspect of my previous albums and am not about to start now.
as a pleasant bonus, this decision means that i probably won’t implode just yet. i’d hoped to release album #4 just before another long-planned tour with my friends Midas Fall across europe this november; a tour which as of late last week, sadly, seems to be uncertain, or at least delayed. but whether it still happens or not, even as an abridged version of itself, i don’t think they’d be comfortable touring with a corpse.
thank you for your continued support and lovely letters and comments as i scrape my way along. i’m certainly not stopping, and it won’t be much longer. i just need more time.
day 1 of recording at the house of miracles.
the next five months are a tunnel to october 17th that i’m digging with my hands. at the other end, in a blinding pillar of light, next to a lake of champagne in a valley full of drunken birds, is album #4.
it’s a nearly impossible goal with all that still needs to be done, but i need nearly impossible right now, with all its urgency and exhilaration and uncertainty and pressure. so it’s decided.
the combination of the delicacy, privacy and all-consuming focus of these final steps, though i’m grateful for the suggestions, doesn’t lend itself well to the world of online crowdfunding for me. mostly, the fundamental act of raising money is at the opposite pole of where my heart needs to be right now, which is in a tunnel with my songs, alone.
at this moment i’m surviving and able to cover the basic expenses of the first sessions. and i don’t need more than that. but i know from past albums that things will get harder the closer i get. for now, if you haven’t already, you can buy my music, either physically (all three CDs are available) or digitally, through bandcamp – the “pay more if you’d like to” option has always existed exclusively as a way to quietly (i will know, but no one else) contribute to upcoming recording and touring expenses. even an extra dollar is so appreciated, and will help me buy a pear or a guitar pick. these things are as vital as anything else.
if i come up with other ideas i’ll let you know. for now it’s enough to simply know you’re out there. up there. and hopefully excited for october 17th.
more when i know more. time to go now. tears blurring my eyes. it’s grey and rainy outside and the sparrows are chirping in the trees. it’s the most beautiful day i’ve woken up to for a long time.
i’m here, for whatever that’s worth. though i’ve also been far away.
some nights when i’m listening back to rough recordings of my new songs i feel like i should try to say something while my heart is wrapped in lightning and my perpetual discomfort around writing online updates is locked away in the storm cellar. somehow let you all know if nothing else how obliteratingly fucking intense album #4 is sounding so far. but any attempt i’ve made has been like trying to force a galloping horse through a sieve.
i’m no less helpless or elsewhere at this moment. and there isn’t much to say in the way of a proper update. but i’ve received several concerned emails lately and wanted to say something in case others are feeling similarly.
first of all, i’m alive. second, for those concerned that my absence from the internet might (ever) mean that i’ve stopped making music, or am considering doing so, or am on some sort of break, know that this will never be true. music is a lifelong thing for me. it’s everything. this will never waver. no matter how infrequently or hesitantly i may come into view online, and no matter how broke and mostly invisible i will likely continue to be, i’ll be writing and releasing albums until i die. and i don’t think that’s happened, unless this is death. in which case clearly even that can’t stop me.
album #4 is nearly written and it’s already louder inside of me than my own heartbeat. as of april i’ll be trying to get into the studio to record, which is always a challenge financially, and will take longer than i wish it would for the same old reasons it always has. know that i’m doing everything i can. thank you for being patient.
for the first time ever, definitive CD editions of codes and secret longing, no ghostless place, and Öxnadalur are all gathered together for purchase in one place, both codes and secret longing and no ghostless place finally updated with amended liner notes, and true versions of themselves at last. please go to bandcamp to find them. orders can be shipped anywhere in the world.
it’s endlessly astonishing and lovely to me that as i work away on this strange, faraway archipelago, quietly uncovering notes and words, someone out there might be excited or even impatient about my findings. or worried that i’ve fallen into an abyss too deep to climb out of. i love and appreciate all of you very much.
p.s. vinyl will still happen. it’s alarmingly expensive to manufacture the beautiful gatefold versions of each album i’ve always envisioned (all three albums are long enough that they’ll need to be on 4 discs each). but i’m determined to figure it out.
please forgive the long silence and unanswered messages. something happened that detonated a bomb in my chest shortly after i arrived home from Europe and i’m still trying to put things back together.
only writing now because i don’t want this to disappear: a show on December 2nd in Toronto.
beyond grateful that circumstances are such that it can still happen. please come if you can. it’s in a small rented art space called Array (155 Walnut Street), at 8:30 pm. there will be some beer and wine, a reassembled man, a piano, and my voice. tickets will be available very soon.
can’t find words for all that my time in Europe was, couldn’t even before things went to hell, but everyone who was there in Moscow or Bamberg knows how i felt, what it meant, whether we embraced, or spoke, or you heard it in my voice as i stumbled through my songs.
sending my love, and missing you all.
shows, pianos, codes and secret longing:
a final reminder of two very special shows coming up soon – the first in Moscow, Russia on Saturday, October 22nd at Vermel (Вермель) and the second in Bamberg, Germany on Thursday, October 27th, at Jazzkeller. don’t forget to email Martin Beyer if you’d like to reserve tickets for Bamberg – his address (along with details for both shows) is listed under tour information.
i’ve arranged several songs i’ve either only rarely or never played live for piano for these two shows. i’ll have my guitar too, but the piano will be the focus. unlike my show in London last month when my hands mutinied against my brain and turned into sleeping rabbits in the midst of ‘pale blue black holes’, i’ve had the chance to practice enough this time that i’m mostly certain my hands will remain my hands.
trying to book a few solo piano/voice shows here in Canada to stay above water – Toronto on December 2nd is already confirmed, at a small and beautiful art space near Trinity Bellwoods. full details soon. i hope to get out west and east also, as well as into the US for either December or early 2017. Mexico too, if possible. it’s anxious, lonely and uncomfortable work, attempting to book shows, so any assistance is always appreciated. suggestions of intimate venues with pianos are welcome as well.
still hoping that the European tour with Midas Fall is able to happen in the first months of next year.
too busy with writing and recording to find the time to get a band together for fully orchestrated shows just yet, but that will happen over the next several months also.
CD copies of ‘Codes and Secret Longing’ will be available as of next week again through bandcamp, after a long period of near-extinction. i was heartbroken to sell one of the very last copies last week, as i thought i’d never be able to afford a reorder, but have since discovered that the factory i use to manufacture my CDs now allows orders of (much) less than 1000 at a time. so i was finally able to afford a few more. they arrive just in time for my flight out of Canada next week.
i hope to see some of you very soon in either Germany or Russia.
‘trains we both missed’ and ‘pale blue black holes’ are now available on iTunes, as well as a wide spectrum of other digital retailers.
‘sightings’, a lone song that has lived quietly and exclusively on bandcamp since i put it out in 2013, is finally available through the same channels.
(a special note about bandcamp: they now accept credit and debit card payments as opposed to paypal only.)
lyrics for the new songs are here, for all who have asked.
a message about upcoming shows soon – in the meantime, some details have been added regarding the Russia/Germany performances at the end of the month, under ‘tour’.
my two new songs are available here, right now:
i thought i could wait until tomorrow afternoon to release them – my original ill-conceived plan – but i can’t. my emotions are running way, way too high, and i haven’t slept the past couple of nights. plus i’ve been drinking some whiskey.
so it’s going to be now. because 12:03 am is the 13th. by three minutes, it’s tomorrow, in relation to my last message. and because nights are generally less anxious times for me than days, this feels right to me. i’ll sleep soon, knowing that the songs are finding their way to all of you through the night.
‘trains we both missed’ and ‘pale blue black holes’ are two songs that i randomly picked to record and release from thirteen that are running through my mind on a constant, beautiful, maddening loop these days. please do purchase them if you can, as i exhausted all my saved money just getting these two to sound as lovely as i think they do.
but most important to me is that you listen, and share. and feel held. i understand being broke, and i know that many of you struggle similarly. so please, just take them if you can’t afford to spend any money. and as soon as i am able i will book sessions to get going on the rest of the album, regardless of what happens.
just promise me that you’ll listen at high volumes, and with good headphones if you can. share if you want. and know that i’m with you in every note and word.
to those who have asked – both of these songs (plus ‘sightings’, finally) will be available on iTunes, Amazon, and a variety of other digital retailers very soon.
it’s not lost on me for one moment that i am the luckiest man in the world to be able to share my music with people like all of you. the love and open emotion in your messages and letters does such wondrous things to my heart. all i can hope is that you can feel my love returned to you in my music. when i disappear i am thinking of almost nothing but my songs. but when i emerge, it’s to you. what could possibly be better than that.
all of my love,