a bespectacled chrysalis is moments away from passing through a gate. it is smuggling songs inside its brain.
i wish i wasn’t writing this. in late 2016 a terrible door appeared somewhere in the distance, a door whose location i wouldn’t be able to predict or avoid and whose other side i couldn’t bear to imagine. tried to dig under it, ignore it, destroy it with love and focus and hard work, but failed. on december 27th, 2017, i finally lost my beautiful number six, after 22 years and 7 months of the most extraordinary and tender togetherness. and the door closed behind me. there isn’t a raised by swans song in existence that hasn’t in an early home version had his purrs or meows or sleeping heartbeat appear on my vocal tracks. just as there is not a moment in the future where i will not miss him.
i’m sharing this to explain the longer than usual silence. to mark his passing, because he deserves it. and to explain the impossible release date last year also, to all of you, and to myself. forgive me but i needed to believe in it. and now it’s 2018 somehow, and though my little place is quieter and emptier and colder than it was, music is here with me again. songs i began recording last year for album #4 revealing their truths like invisible ink on a warmed map. new songs coming to life. i’m back to work.
i’d meant to write something about the european tour with Midas Fall but haven’t been capable and still am not. but it was a tremendous adventure. more perhaps about that in a later update. for now, i just wanted to say that i’m here. that my darling, miraculous number six, as much as my heart aches to admit it, is not. and that i hope you’re okay out there, wherever you are.
and number six, 1994-2017.
due to logistical issues, the show in Brno won’t be happening tonight.
thank you to everyone who came out to DAOS club in Timișoara last night. because of the Brno cancellation, it turns out it was my final show with Midas Fall this tour, and it was a beautiful and emotional night. Cluj was wonderful as well on Saturday.
we’ve decided to come back to Budapest for one last night together before i head back to Canada and Midas Fall continue on. after 15 shows with only one night off, we’re currently sitting in a rented apartment with some bottles of Romanian wine feeling a bit lost. like we should be unloading the van somewhere.
hate that this has to end. but it’s time to go home.
make sure to get to Midas Fall’s last two shows in Rotterdam and Ghent.
in Sofia tonight, at Live & Loud – advance e-tickets still available here. show starts at 8:00 pm.
Plovdiv tonight, at the Bee Bop Café. doors at 9:00 pm.
thank you for your warmth, Athens. going to bed glowing.
in Athens tonight, at Death Disco with Midas Fall and Echo Train. doors at 20:30.
Thessaloniki tonight, at Rover Bar – the first of five shows in Greece. hope to see you there.
(note: the show on the 17th as been changed; it’s no longer in Preveza but Katerini, at Irish Pub Rain.)