(first posted 13.9.18 on facebook)
it’s 11 in the morning and home recordings of a nearly finished album #4 are washing over me at devastating volumes as i type this. even though i was tired and anxious when i first sat down i’m now feeling more like a newborn phoenix breathing in synch with the entire universe than a lone, bespectacled man sitting in a public library with headphones on and a banana on the table in front of him. last night at 3 am my heart was a freight train with its brakes ripped out as i lay in bed replaying the songs in my head. there were no sheep to count to help me sleep; lucky for them, as i could only have plowed through their woolly bodies at a million miles an hour, shouting apologies over my shoulder as i hurtled through the night.
i’m back in Canada now after six challenging but extraordinary months alone and vehicle-less in the countryside of North Iceland, where i found the songs #4 had been missing. while there i also became a tree dad to 10,000 baby birches, literally hiked my boots into pieces, slept in three caves (one beneath a thundering waterfall, one beneath a mountain, and one i hollowed out of a snow drift), buried two tiny friends from the winter of 2018 who had somehow squeezed into a bottle of peanut oil and drowned, discovered fossils in a wild place meant to be bulldozed, and acted as a surrogate innkeeper to sporadic guests who mostly treated me as nothing more than an insignificant shadow. which was fine with me. oh and i made preserved lemons.
every króna/dollar i managed to save from working is for recording costs, and i’m so grateful for these opportunities to earn some money as i worked on music in privacy, close to nature – very eric-specific circumstances i either can’t find or afford in Canada, as beautiful and enormous as this country is. thanks S and Ó, and thanks Skógræktin, even though i nearly lost my mind many times planting the 10,000 babies up in the hills, especially when my ancient iPod malfunctioned and insisted on playing one of the worst songs ever conceived over and over again in a horizontal rain.
if all goes well, #4 will be released in early 2020, which also happens to be the 10 year anniversary of “no ghostless place” (see below).
i want to start looking into booking tours/shows for spring/summer/fall 2020 to celebrate the release. the truth is i usually get stopped by my own anxiety, as booking shows is a horrendously unpleasant task. trying not to have this happen this time. will check in with some wonderful people who helped organize things with the last European tours with Midas Fall and see if they can help for a start.
on the same note, i refuse to do what i did for ‘Öxnadalur’, which was essentially run away the moment i released it. again, i was overwhelmed with all the uncomfortable non-musical stuff that comes with making music. but i can’t have that happen again. this album has taken five years of my life, and i want to celebrate it for a long time.
anything anyone can do or suggest to help keep me out of my shell, find shows, etc. would be so appreciated. i will hire a band, some people who’ve played with me before, and there will be massive glorious full band shows and also the tiny intimate solo ones i love so much, as these different contexts have always been equally important to me.
also, i hope to finally release “no ghostless place” on vinyl. on or around its 10 year anniversary, which is January 2020. still working on this with a very patient person who first offered to help me fund it two years ago (very patient, as mentioned – thank you, R).
that’s all for now. my bravery is evaporating as i’ve turned the music off. but in keeping with my promise to myself to try not be so shy as this album reaches its climax, you’ll be hearing from me more often as its release approaches. just with less words. i won’t ever be someone who spreads himself across dozens of social media platforms, but i can’t rely only on facebook and my personal website forever. soon i will start using a long-dormant twitter account, if only for the most basic updates. my brain might have other ideas, but i’m going to stay a phoenix for as long as i can. maybe i can burn my way through some darkness for a while, if only for the sake of these songs, which are everything to me, as dear as my blood.
today is my first day back in the House of Miracles since two years ago. i’m heading there right now.