six (-ish) things:
1. after struggling for a couple of months to figure out how to move even a small step closer to whatever the “music industry” is, through working alongside Lueda Alia, (and her struggling in turn to figure out how to drag me gently towards it), and then having a coffin-sized section of my apartment ceiling cave in on me as a rather apt metaphor for how the whole process was feeling, i’ve decided to continue on alone once again.
all the glowing things i wrote a few updates ago still stand. L is as talented as ever, it’s me who’s a daft old hermit waving a .22 at passing planes from my imagined little island. there’s too much i just don’t feel comfortable with, too much that i feel i need to protect. i sound like an absolute ass, i’m sure. that’s fine. the truth is that i’ve kind of painted myself into a corner after all this time, and for now at least, i suppose i’m better off on my own. even if i’m not.
only letting you know this to explain why nothing will be changing as dramatically as i’d hinted it might. why the raised by swans twitter account will remain empty. why the soundcloud account will begin to go stale from disuse only a couple of months past its not-so-grand opening. why i will continue posting online updates in the same slow, sporadic way i always have, in only two places. and on and on.
2. finally got around to redesigning this website about a week ago. it’s not done, and some things are not quite right, but that’s because i’m stuck on some things that i don’t understand. slowly working on adding content too. it was an elevator in a sad hotel before. i wanted to make it feel more like home.
3. in spite of being a snail wearing too many shells, i love being connected with all of you, and it means a lot to me to be able to write these little updates and to hear from you in return. so facebook, as doomed as some say it is in the greater scheme of things, and as much as i dreaded becoming a part of it at the start, has become a much more intimate and vital experience than i ever thought it could be. exclusively because of all of you.
but facebook and this website are more than enough for me. if i gave into monitoring and maintaining all the other online things one seems to be expected to maintain these days as an artist – twitter, tumblr, soundcloud, instagram, etc., i’d be pulled under in no time. i’ve no clue how everyone does it. for a terribly private man with no cell phone or personal social media sites to his name, who dreams of living in a small cave by the sea, i already feel stretched too thin. it makes sense to me, for everyone’s sake, that i devote my time and energy to writing and sharing my songs, and perhaps the occasional personal update when i’m feeling brave enough to post one.
this is what many have said is exactly what’s hurting my chances at getting the word out about my music. and subsequently, selling my albums. and booking shows. and on and on. which it almost certainly is.
so what am i saying here. i am saying, “oh well”. i’ve come this far, and i don’t know how to be anything else. i am saying thank you for helping me pick up my own slack, in terms of the sites and accounts some of you have started up yourselves to support my music. someone told me recently about a twitter account that’s floating about out there, for instance, posting things on raised by swans’ behalf. if only you knew how that warms my heart. as did your many suggestions for venues to look into, all around the world, that you were so kind to share with me after i posted my last update.
i’m saying that even though i talk about being alone in all of this, i’m really not, because of all of you. and i don’t take that for granted, not for a fucking second.
5. i hope you’re all okay.
6. if your ceiling starts dripping in multiple places, know that the outdoors wants very badly to come indoors. and once you’re asleep, it will.